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--- meetings:2025-09-14 [2025/09/15 01:24] – [Officer Check-ins] jessimunn
+++ meetings:2025-09-14 [2025/09/15 02:43] (current) – [Agenda Item 1] jessimunn
@@ Line 132: / Line 132: @@
 (Kaycie) Cultural Meeting
+Kaycie: For this culture meeting, we'll be discussing accountability.
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+Kaycie: first let's start by reading what our Community Agreement says about accountability: \\
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+We value accountability between members.
+Accountability is a tool that we use both to identify irresponsibly among housemates and to celebrate outstanding service to our community. For example, we use a labor accountability sheet. Valuing accountability means that we expect feedback from each other—both critique and praise—because it is the most expedient way to ensure our collective satisfaction in our interdependent community.
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+Kaycie: I want to take a few minutes to define what accountability means. \\
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+Owen: I love the wording of this agreement. there's so much wisdom and reduction in those words. I'll just quickly--I've been a part of at least 20 communities like this at various levels. what makes any team or group or relationship high-performing or low-performing is our own individual personal responsibility. to be in personal integrity of our work. what i'm doing when I sign a contract is putting my word on that that I agree to these agreements. the distinction of integrity to my word--this goes back to ancient times--where I put my word on something, and if I keep my word, we're only as good as our word. a lot of the communication that we do is about taking the assumptions that we have and making them explicit so we can come to a verbal agreement. when I put my word that I'm going to do my schedule, then I go and do that, i'm in integrity with that. the more granular piece of that is me being in integrity to my word. I think it's so important to be in integrity to my word. if I don't want to do something, I'm going to say so. this is about personal power--me saying that I'm going to do something and then following through with it. we in being in integrity with our word, is the average of the group. this helps to enroll and inspire others. when you hold these standards and hold each other accountable, you clear these breakdowns. \\
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+Caleb: when I think about accountability. i'm sure it shares a root of "count" counting is neutral, it's not emotional. when we're holding someone accountable, it's not malicious. it simply helps the house run. pointing it out that Labor didn't get done should be seen as supportive \\
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+Rowan: it feels to me in this house that people strongly associate it with writing people up. I find it more effective to talk to people. it makes me sad to do those write ups. I guess i'd like to see accountability more broad in the house. it should be more broad than just talking to people too. let's not limit accountability to one or two forms. \\
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+Owen: I really like what you just said. fierce authentic communication, which allows you to be in loving connection with someone, means that it is more like looking out for someone. \\
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+Kaycie: let's just assess more about how it was playing out in the house. \\
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+Rowan: it is something I think about a lot. not maybe replacing our accountability system completely but I agree it's not really working right now. \\
+Caleb: I want to talk about the labor system from a previous co-op. we had 80 minutes of Labor each week. we had to do 1 cleaning shift a week and otherwise self-directed. you always had the account of Labor that you did in front of you each week. i'd be curious to see a self-attestation checkmark system. \\
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+Ruth: we kinda had that. most of the labors have a sign off sheet. there have been times when we've relied on those more. I think those are a way--a thing that people are positively affirming they've done the labor. that's something we could get to doing 100% without too much work. we rely entirely on each other for how well the accountability system works. the times when it's worked better are when people are willing to talk to each other about how uncompleted labor affected them. when people have taken that to heart and not been defensive about it--when they're willing to hear the impact it has on people. it felt better. I think our accountability system is all punative measures. I don't know a way to change that. it seems to me that we would be better off if we get bonuses for doing something that we're supposed to do. \\
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+Mae: I don't have a total solution. rowan, tell me if i'm wrong, do you feel the accountability sheet is punitive? Rowan: yes. Mae: i've gotten to where I don't want to put anything on there because I don't want to be attacked about writing anyone up. I do agree the person should be talked to, first, but who talks to that person? I do like those sheets where we sign off that serves as a reliable record of what's been done. one of the things that there's some kind of line between punative and feeling accountable. at the same time, we want to get things done. i've forgotten and had to come clean the next day. we did sign contracts to do certain things. there's got to be a happy medium somewhere. \\
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+Owen: I wanted to say that what you are bringing up as when you're holding someone accountable for their commitment and there's pushback and defensiveness, it becomes a tense conversation. if that becomes a norm within the group, that creates a toxic culture for go-getters. fierce authentic communication breaks that barrier. the pushback--if that pushback becomes a culture that becomes toxic for the emergent community. \\
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+David: I think first--everything that works well, you don't think about it because it works well. sometimes when things don't work well, then that's looked at the entire system itself. no one likes everything in the system. we do have room for positive reinforcement. when people could go up and say "hey weren't you supposed to do dishes?" as a reminder. the openness of communication would be more helpful. being able to approach someone may be the more important thing. why do we feel like we can't approach each other with these problems? \\
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+Rowan: I feel tense when I feel like I'm being told i'm doing something wrong. if they're really nice about it, I take it better.r we all have our own emotions to express. I don't see a world that I wouldn't feel it ... I don't feel it's toxic when people approach me to talk about my labor. even thgouh i feel ashamed and upset, sometimes you gotta feel the bad emotions and that's not toxicity. while it's always going to be feeling bad for me personally, if people have discussions outside of doing something wrong, it's easier to hear those discussions. I think that would make those conversations easier. i'm wondering what ... I'm curious what we could do to make that a more positive experience \\
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+Jessi: if you don't do your Labor, you should expect to be written up. you should write yourself up when you don't do your Labor. I think i've written myself up more than anyone else has written me up. I agree with Mae that doing write-ups are hard--we get retaliation all the time! that's why some people don't write people up anymore--and we shouldnt' be dealing with retaliation regarding it. (I'm just used to having a target on my back when it comes to living here.)
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+Owen: I love that you're bringing up directly. I'd like to introduce the language of "acknowledging the breakdown" they're resistant to acknowledge their breakdown, which is objective. I also want to re-acknowledge what you've said--resistance to acknowledging the breakdown. then if you're experiencing retaliation--whistleblower retaliation--that's what creates a toxic culture for accountability. the people that are accountable feel it--the toxicity has \\
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+Rowan: I wanted to ask Jessi if there's specifics about retaliation? \\
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+Jessi: \\
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+Rowan: I don't know the exact circumstances. for example, not changing over the laundry because you wrote them up. I think it's a good thing to question our systems. \\
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+kaycie: I think what's being discussed here is... there's someone who's done a lot of write-ups in the house and they feel alienated because they feel like others see them as a punishing figure. \\
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+Jessi: \\
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+Mae: it's been a long time since i've felt any backlash and it's more like a vibe. "she's a policeman" and I just stopped. I wish people had seen it as not personal. what this whole conversation has allowed me to do is think about this. the accountability board/system is kinda confusing. let's take the whiteboard on the BS living room. it's not an exact science but it helps keep track. maybe the whiteboard approach is more friendly. if I'm really honest with myself, maybe just because I felt a vibe... maybe we just have an accountability form without names. dishes weren't done 3xs this week...what can we do about that? \\
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+kaycie: one idea I had about creating some sort of formal system for the house to discuss the impact that undone labor has on us, as well as praising each other for the labor we did do. maybe just for a month we could bake that into our weekly meetings and get it more out in the open and give people a chance to clear out why they didn't do it. I want to create something consistent that allows us to bring that to light. when we talk about it openly together, it's easier to want to do labor. it feels good to hear someone say the bathroom looks clean and you did it. that's something i'd like to propose we try out for a month or so. my other idea is to take some time to write out all the different solutions so we can continue thinking about that. \\
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+Ruth: first is the pushback on people who've written people up. it seems like, to me, at least, there is a set of emotions that comes up when you're not expecting it. I think the same is also happening for people who are doing labor accountability. people feeling seen as an authority figure and feeling resentful or unhappy about it--that's a whole another set of things to work through. it seems to me consistently, they start feeling like the house is viewing me a certain way. I'm not saying that retaliation doens't happen. i'm also saying that there's negative emotions that comes up on both sides. I'm saying that there's things to work on all the way around. whenever i'm doing something for the house--what's the outcome I want to accomplish? I don't feel like the accountability sheet is always the best way to get it done. what is the objective that I want accomplished, and if the objective is getting the labor done in the house is sometimes thinking out of the box. our systems are our fallback. but you don't have to use them. \\
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+David: being an officer in the service at Sasona--i consider it to be a civil duty to the community and try to take my personal views out of it. I know just as much as anyone else that I get out of the wrong side of the bed, etc. the only way to get out of that is to step out of personal expectations. we get lost in personal feelings and get it confused that we want something that works and want to be cool with each other. the judgements of others is another minutiae point. how can we make it more of a party? how can we make it more enjoyable? no one wants to NS or nudge someone. some people carry out their positions here with ocd or with the attitude that they want to carry out their job. there's an easy way to get past that grind. do you have a better idea? if you don't, we're still workshopping it and still working with what we have. I think everyone should let everyone do things officer wise. we're just getting bogged down and it shouldn't be so personal for us. \\
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+Rowan: Ruth said a lot of what I was gonna say. our systems--there's so many systems that we use when we have problems. a majority of the time, we're not strangers we can work things out beyond our rules. there's times when our rules and policies are more useful and other strategies are more useful. I wanted to validate people when they're written up. you shouldn't treat someone badly because you're feeling bad. but feeling bad isn't bad in itself. I think we can work to understand people's negative feelings. \\
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+Owen: I want to interject that the framing of the conversation. how the person is receiving the conversation--framing it in the language of personal responsibility. if we name it in these terms we don't have the negative feelings. framing of what I committed to--the actual labor--i put my word on it. and then when the person calls me out, if someone is holding me accountable, that's a pretty objective measure. it's either a breakdown or not a breakdown and it becomes very clear. it should be easier to do that. the language of personal responsibility is acknowledgement of the breakdown. the second part would be to clear the breakdown -- this is a communication skill we can work on. if we live in the language of personal responsibility then it leads to accountability and leads to personal power. that's when both parties can feel engaged. \\
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+kaycie: I think it's good that all this was brought to the surface so we can move in the right direction. I feel like i'm hearibg how things should/could be but how do we actually get our community to practice something different. \\
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+David: I applaud you there's a lot of stuff there. the idea of having the sign that says Kinder than Necessary. these things have to do with that type of ideal. we have to think about accountability and how we treat each other. \\
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+kaycie: under the culture cordinator description is practicing furthering communication. \\
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